I have been trying to figure out how to start this post for more than a few minutes now. So I’m just going to jump in. My struggle in starting is really a struggle about completing: I don’t know how to write without being completely transparent and I’m uncertain how committed I am to transparency on this topic since it’s one in which I feel vulnerable. But away we go…
I have new developments on the career front. I have recently been appointed to a regional Director of Human Resources role (one of three). In this new position, I will report to the Regional VP of Human Resources and I will manage one of our HR departments. For work purposes I’m deliberately vague on the details here but the salient points for this post:
- It’s a regional role (covering four properties)
- I will continue to provide leadership oversight for a team (# of direct reports doubled)
- I will partner w/the head of HR and the property leaders (GMs/AGMs) on strategy
- I will learn a ton about the heart of our business (people)
So what?
While new opportunities are often exciting (especially for me and my relatively short attention span), they usually come with a fair amount of change—some welcomed and some that take adjustment. My reaction to this particular opportunity has been…interesting…to say the least. It has highlighted some of my VABEs (shout-out to Darden L.O. and fellow Clawson Disciples; for everyone else VABEs = values, assumptions, beliefs, and expectations). More importantly—or disturbingly—it has forced me to face my priorities. More about the role:
The Good
- It doesn’t require me to work on weekends. This is HUGE. This provides more flexibility with my schedule. It affords more opportunity to attend social functions and restore social relationships (didn’t I just talk about this?). Most importantly, it takes some of the burden off of the Mr. re: travel (heretofore he has done the lion’s share of travel in this commuter marriage awesomeness).
- It provides a more manageable schedule which will allow me to strike a better balance and live a more complete life. Another goal about which I’ve talked. Incessantly. See Exhibit A, B, C, D, E…
- It provides relevant experience. Internally: the profile of a GM is changing and it’s all about employee engagement and customer service. Time spent as an HR leader is highly relevant and the knowledge gained about our complex workforce is invaluable. Externally: the people leadership and strategic thinking skills are transferable.
The Other
- Marketers = The Cool Kids. There used to be a saying about our company: we were not a gaming company, we were a marketing company with gaming as our product (loosely paraphrased). Outside of a property GM, Marketing makes the biggest decisions and arguably has the most impact on the property (for better or for worse). Also, there’s something gratifying to planning and executing a marketing calendar and seeing the results (response of our customers, profitability analysis, etc.). And let’s face it: marketing is the cool and sexy part of the business. Period. Even though I never set out to be a marketer for the long-haul and my stint in marketing was always meant to be a stop on the journey to GM, there’s something about all of the above that I’m going to miss. Here’s the kicker: I can’t tell if I’m missing it for the “right” reasons (i.e. I truly enjoyed the function/discipline) or for the “wrong” reasons (i.e. I liked the “power”).
So that’s my (reluctant) truth. While I know this to be a great opportunity, there’s a part of me that is sad to leave marketing. And that’s tough to admit; it feels shallow and superficial (a shallow and superficial MBA? Curse the thought!). And it feels all types of short-sighted. Hello??? Bullets 1 and 2 alone make this the right move at the right time (I swear I think the Mr. was starting to have a case of buyer’s remorse; after all, he didn’t sign up for an 8 hour/week wife). I should be excited beyond belief to have a normal schedule; to have weekends off; to be able to socialize with friends; to travel to NYC more regularly (aaah, regular trips to Joseph’s and Anastasia’s soon come; my hair and eyebrows will be most grateful). I should be wildly excited about no more random firedrills on Sunday morning because a promotional kiosk is down (will NOT miss that aspect of marketing at all).
More pointedly, bullets 1 and 2 allow me to right this ship that has been adrift too long; it allows me to finally prioritize properly:
- God
- My husband
- My career
Instead of:
- My career
- My career
- Did I mention my career?
- …
- …
- My husband (maybe…on a good day)
Bringing this back to the disturbing part: I said I wanted more balance; I said wanted a complete life. Above all else, I said I wanted to do what was neccessary to protect my (very young) marriage. But based on my bitter-sweet sentiment re: leaving marketing, did I really??? My wishes came true and now I’m peaking in the rear view mirror concerned about what I “left behind.”
So much more to unpack. But that’s all for now. As I continue on this journey of redefining my priorities, purpose, and passions, I’ll keep you updated. In the meantime, it’s time to quit whining about my high class problems. Seriously, I soooooo need to get a life; sometimes I make ME sick.
eom.
Leave a Reply