7 Things Keeping Me Up at Night in this COVID-19 World

Stating the obvious upfront: we are in the midst of a pandemic. Accordingly, there are a few things keeping me up at night. Seven to be exact. Only seven? Nope. But I narrowed it down to the seven that are particularly top of mind.

Oh, and this may be all over the place. But isn’t everything right now??

“This”

I started this blog eight months ago and–at the time of this writing–I still have not “launched” it. Lots of whys. Part procrastination. Part time. Part perfectionism. All…ridiculous. So, if you’re reading this, I (finally) got off of the proverbial pot. Cheers.

The Real “This”

On January 1st, if you had told me 2020 would be marked by the deadliest pandemic experienced in a century, I’m not sure I would’ve believed you. I certainly would not have understood you. And–to be honest–weeks in, I still don’t have my mind fully wrapped around what we are experiencing. I’m not sure anyone does. Or can. This moment is unprecedented, uncertain, and scary as all hell. AND…despite those truths, we still need to forge ahead.

Forge Ahead? What Does That Even Mean?

Frankly, I won’t pretend to know. That will mean different things for different people–particularly if you look at the differing impact of COVID-19 across the world. I will, however, give a particularly honest glimpse into what that means for me right now. Today. Unfiltered. Likely a little raw (if not scattered). But all truth.

Personal

Focused on ensuring the safety of my immediate family. Strictly adhering to social distancing. Isolating as much as possible (work notwithstanding since The Husband is considered essential). Limiting trips to the grocery store. Practicing good hygiene.
Worried like hell about the vulnerable amongst my family and friends (due to geography, age, underlying conditions).
Trying to homeschool; to include both developing AND executing a curriculum (because, four weeks in and our school district hasn’t started distance learning yet so it has fallen to the parents to figure this out on our own…an entirely different post)
Trying to keep my children mentally and emotionally stable

Other (and significant source of angst)

Angry/saddened/heartbroken by the disparate outcomes of COVID-19 on minority communities here in the U.S.–particularly the African American community given the gut wrenching morbidity–and fatality–stats.
Absolutely devastated by the impact on the service/hospitality/travel/tourism industries and the corresponding impact on the respective workforce. Add to this all of the frontline workers and essential personnel risking their health (and lives) during this time. Oh by the way, a lot of whom fall into the category above.
Determined to figure out what role I can play in serving both of the above

Purpose? (What’s Old is New Again)

The pretty, neat bow that surrounds this lovely “consternation package” isn’t a new one; it’s one that I’ve revisited time and time again. In real life. And on this blog (so much so, it has its own section). For the last few weeks, I’ve wrestled with purpose. What’s the purpose of this moment in history? What’s the purpose for the extraordinary burden I feel on my heart right now for my community–the disadvantaged and most vulnerable? What’s the purpose of…every-single-thing given this horrific disease has crippled society as we know it and brought it to a screeching halt?

When some “thing” is taken away; when you’re forced to rethink conventional “wisdom”; when long held traditions are turned on their heads, it’s amazing what comes to the surface….what matters….and what does not.

So…

So…here we are. Back to the beginning. Of this post. And otherwise.

I’ve sat on this blog forever. Waiting for “more”. More time. More inspiration. More purpose. Well. I have most of those things today; perhaps question mark on the last one. Or not. *shrug*

I invite you to come along with me. For real-for real this time. I’d love the company.