We interrupt this regularly scheduled rose-colored broadcast for a rare glimpse into my personal life…
One of my favorite classes this quarter was a general management reading seminar. Once a week, we read a book about a well-known business figure and discussed it in an intimate group of ~14 second years. It was a great way to explore leadership lessons using real-life examples. We also had to write a one-page paper on something from the book that resonated with us. Our final reading for the quarter was “My American Journey”, General Colin L. Powell’s memoir; an amazing read for so many reasons. The mini-essay below is what I submitted and it captures a strong sentiment in me that surfaced while reading a particular part of the book. I share because it was a humbling revelation for me and I share as a word of caution for us “super-busy” types:
“General DePuy taught me something invaluable about holding to one’s core of individuality in a profession marked by uniformity and the subordination of self…’Never become so consumed by your career that nothing is left that belongs only to you and your family…Don’t allow your profession to become the whole of your existence'”.
This is one of the principles shared by General Powell that most resonated with me.
In my nine and a half year career prior to Darden, I did not exhibit this ideal. Sadly, after believing I had finally learned that lesson, I displayed the same absence of boundaries during my recent summer internship. By nature, I am a “Type A”, “overachiever”, “work-aholic” who is easily and effortlessly consumed by work. I can get locked in on a goal and set off to achieve it with laser-like focus—a trait that can be admirable to some (read: employer who benefits from your work commitment) but damaging to others (particularly those in your support system who love and need you).
Case in point: my father, one of my staunchest supporters, always apologizes profusely when he calls me. He begins every conversation with “I know you’re really busy sweetheart so I don’t want to take up too much of your time…” and proceeds to explain why he’s calling—as if my father should have a “good explanation” for calling his daughter! This, undoubtedly, breaks my heart every time. Obviously, I’ve been so unavailable over the years and I’ve been “so busy” that he’s conditioned himself to believe a phone call to me is an imposition. His perception is not without merit—I’ve blamed my absence from events, my infrequent visits, and my lack of phone calls on always “being busy”. He has called my mobile phone—on numerous occasions—after 9 pm in the evening only to find that I’m still in the office or just getting into a car service from work to go home. He’s been along for the ride both pre-Darden and through Darden and, while he’s supportive, he’s resigned to the fact that I’m too busy for “regular conversation”.
This doesn’t stop with my father. Other relatives and friends all perceive the same thing—that Jackie is extremely busy; “off conquering the world”. They excuse my absence as if I’m “saving babies” on the operating room table. The truth of the matter is, I’m not…Not only is my lack of balance a disservice to the people about whom I care, but it’s ultimately unproductive and it’s a detriment to my overall well-being.
General Powell, along with some of the other figures about whom we read this quarter, highlights the importance of getting this right. He states it explicitly in the excerpt above but he also models it in his story. It’s evident that his wife and family are important to him and that he considered them in the decisions he made. His family seemed to be just as important—if not more important—to him as his career accomplishments and that’s an ideal I’d like to emulate.
Admittedly, I think this quest for balance poses a different challenge for women (especially in dual-career households). I think it’s more difficult and has a different set of implications. However, it’s not impossible and I won’t use that as an excuse. As I embark upon this next stage of my life, as I make decisions about where to start my post-Darden career, I will factor this in to my consideration set in a real way.
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Thats a nice thought Jackie and resonates extremely well with me too, when I look back at the nine and a half years of my professional career, and now that I am also planning to get back to BSchool and begin a new chapter in my life.
Excellent expression too!
Thanks for sharing Jackie! You just reinforced why I plan on taking a reading seminar. <3